cJoshua1:5

Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Who Ya Worshippin’?

Posted by cjoshua15 on December 18, 2007

Check this out!  I would have embedded it but wp doesn’t allow embeds from GodTube yet.

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Church Football

Posted by cjoshua15 on May 11, 2007

I got this in an email from a friend and I got a great chuckle out of it because I immediately could associate faces with each of these and I have been guilty of some of these at different points in my life.

Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Half-time – The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.

Bench Warmer – Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion – Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket – What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.

Two-minute Warning – The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay – The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.

Sudden Death – What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes “overtime”.

Trap – You’re called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run – Getting out of church quickly without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense – The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option – The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service or Bible study.

Blitz – The rush for the restaurants following the benediction.

— Author Unknown

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Can email make it through all the wires to Iowa?

Posted by cjoshua15 on April 13, 2007

Okay, there is way too much geek in me.  My best friends son has been communicating with his best friend, whose parents decided they wanted to see how tall corn really grows when left to a field and God’s graces in the middle of Iowa, via cell phone and now letter mail with real stamps.  He was telling me today that he got some pictures and wanted to write a letter.  I mentioned I could set him up an email address if his mom was okay with it and she said that would be fine.  He got a little excited and then this grave look came across his face and in all seriousness he asked the following question:  Can an email fit in the wires and go all the way to Iowa?  I had just taken a drink of my tea and it just about spewed all over him because I laughed so hard.  The innocence of his question was real but I guess I didn’t expect him to be so serious.  He then asked if he emailed it tonight by 10pm when would it get delivered to his friends email.  I made sure I wasn’t drinking tea when he started speaking this time.   When I finally got him to understand that the Internet was open all the time like Wal-Mart he was so excited he couldn’t wait for me to get him an account set up.  Unfortunately for him, he is governed by the hours he is allowed to stay up so he will have to wait until tomorrow to try this new email world!

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