cJoshua1:5

Church Football

Posted by cjoshua15 on May 11, 2007

I got this in an email from a friend and I got a great chuckle out of it because I immediately could associate faces with each of these and I have been guilty of some of these at different points in my life.

Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Half-time – The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.

Bench Warmer – Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion – Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket – What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.

Two-minute Warning – The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay – The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.

Sudden Death – What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes “overtime”.

Trap – You’re called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run – Getting out of church quickly without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense – The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option – The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service or Bible study.

Blitz – The rush for the restaurants following the benediction.

— Author Unknown

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