cJoshua1:5

:)

Posted by cjoshua15 on January 18, 2007

This week has been a very stressful one. My stepdad was diagnosed with melanoma and a melanoma tumor, some very dear friends are moving their ministry to another church, and my best friend’s parents 50th anniversary party is this Saturday (I’m helping). I figured the 50th thing would work its way through and then it will end on Saturday, there is a complete closure in that and a light at the end of the tunnel. My stepdad’s cancer was at least one kind of cancer and they say it is very treatable once they remove all the lymph nodes under the arm, so there is some light at the end of that tunnel too.

These friends moving their ministry, that is a different story. I know they are only doing what God is telling them to do. It doesn’t mean I like it, but I fully respect their obedience. The problem comes when I don’t know where that leaves me in the grand scheme in life. God has been tugging at my heart for many months and because I have enjoyed where I’m at I have stayed. The problem comes in that it isn’t about what I’m enjoying, it is about where God wants me to be. They listened and it was not an easy decision for them. I’m just a little harder in the head I believe.

I’m praying that God will provide wisdom and patience that I will follow His will for my life.

Through this all most of the discussions I have had with folks concerning any of these issues has occurred through IM. The faceless discussion world. It doesn’t stand for Instant Messenger, it stands for Imagine Me. Emoticons have become a standard form of expression for as quick as I can type them. Sometimes they aren’t very representative of the true look on my face or the emotion in my heart but they provide a small window to the soul. I guess that nothing works better than a face-to-face conversation, but when the pain is too much a good IM can seem to ease off the edge a bit. God has no IM, He sees it all, and the emoticons are useless because He knows my heart. I’m glad He loves me anyway and I’m so thankful He is the ultimate I AM. <><

B-)

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2 Responses to “:)”

  1. I am so sorry to hear about your pain. I hope it eases soon. Wonderful news that your stepdad’s cancer is treatable though. 🙂

  2. cami said

    Thanks for stopping by Janice.

    My stepdad will have surgery the 29th of January to try and remove the cancer. Keep praying for him.

    The 50th anniversary party was a huge hit, but I am really glad it is over.

    The departure still leaves many gaps in my life. There is a place in life where God really is exposed and that has happened through worship with this couple that is so invigorating it is hard to explain. A pied-piper is not what they want to be but somehow I hear God screaming to follow those that are running after Him. I really want to be in His will and I want to be following where God wants me to be and not where I want to be. Pray, as will I, that the direction for my family will be very clear for our future.

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